A Beautiful One At That

I love being a mom. I mean I REALLY love being a mom. What's not to love about having a squishy baby face to kiss whenever you want? Motherhood has been a beautiful journey so far. I tried to mentally prepare myself for it when I found out I was pregnant. I was prepared for the sleepless nights, the diapers, the chaos, the exhaustion, and all the body fluids from my little love. One thing never seemed to cross my mind, losing myself.

I have promised to devote every fiber of my being to raise Little A the way God wants me to, love him with all of my heart, be there to kiss every boo-boo, scare away the monsters, be his comfort when he is sick, and do any thing and every thing necessary. All of that comes with a price. I am no longer just Kirstin. Little A and I are a package deal, where I go, he goes. I have been forever changed by this little miracle baby, and for that, I am eternally grateful. The beautiful tragedy of this, I will never again be "just me". My heart is living in 2 bodies now. If I ever decided to give up on being a mom, I could walk away and quit, but I would forever be half of a heart wandering around.

If you met me several years ago, my introduction probably would have gone something like this "Hi, my name is Kirstin. I love to read, stay up late, drink coffee, go shopping, go running, have girls nights, hang out with my handsome hunk of a hubby, and be surrounded by my loved ones." I still enjoy those things, but I don't feel like that's what described me best anymore. I am a follower of Christ, a wife totally in love with her husband, and a mom to the cutest blue eyed baby boy in the world (yes, I checked, Little A has the title).

I never knew loss of identity was such a common thing in motherhood, until I became one, felt guilty about it, and started talking to other mommy friends. Guess what? There is no guilt or shame in it sister. It's ok to mourn the loss of your "old self", it's normal. But don't forget to be thankful for "the new you" that comes with maturity, selflessness, a bigger appreciation for the small things, and more love than you will know what to do with.

It's a beautiful thing, dying to self to become new. I am a mommy, I will always and forever be a mommy. Nothing could ever change that, even if, God forbid, something happened to my sweet boy, I have put on the cloak of motherhood which can never be removed. It's an eternal thing, something that grows in your heart, something that never dies. 

So, to the "old Kirstin", the years we had were fun and free, but I must bid you adieu. I am still trying to navigate my way through motherhood and discovering the "new me", it's all a journey, and a beautiful one at that.

9 Months Old!

My little love bug is 9 months old. Doesn't seem real, and yes I have already started gathering ideas for his first birthday party. I think the excitement of planning a party just for him is the only reason I am not a total basket case at the thought of no longer having an infant (insert heavy sigh).

He has changed SO much over the past few months. He is so active, happy, MOBILE, and into E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.!

Little A has been crawling for a few months, but he is now crawling with his belly off the floor, every now and then he brings the good ol' Army crawl back out. He can pull himself to a standing position without wobbling. He loves to hold on to the coffee table and walk around it. He will let go and balance himself for a few seconds before carefully sitting back down, we are SO close to having a little WALKING boy, oh my heart just races thinking about it.

Teething has been a nightmare. Getting his two front bottom teeth was not bad at all, but the top two, holy scream fest! He has been running a temperature, broken out in his first diaper rash (thankful we are just now facing diaper rash), and been super fussy. He just gnaws on everything and cries, cries, cries, breaks my heart. BUT they have finally broken through the skin so hopefully, the worst is over.

He says "mama", "dada", "uh-oh", and "no" is a new one. He is constantly jabbering up a storm. He loves to throw food from his high-chair tray and say "uh-oh" with an innocent look on his face.

His routine has changed quite a bit. He goes to sleep usually around 8pm, sleeps until 5:30, nurses, then back to sleep until 8am. He takes a nap around 11:30, sleeps for any where from 1 and a half hours to 2 and a half hours. He usually takes another short nap around 4, lasting about an hour.

He is eating mainly solid foods. He isn't picky at all. His favorite breakfast is half of a homemade whole wheat blueberry muffin, yogurt, and a banana. He LOVES all fruit and would eat it all day every day if I let him. Spaghetti is definitely one of his favorites. He has tried cows milk and loved it. He is only nursing 3 times a day now, early morning, late afternoon, and right before bed time. I thought I would be sad about it, but it's actually been nice for both of us. He isn't a fan of sitting still long enough to nurse more than he does and it gives me a little more freedom.

Little A enjoys the nursery at church and now (after a few cry sessions) the gym nursery too. He is a very social baby and likes to play with other babies.

Veggie tales can make Little A stop dead in his tracks. It's pretty much the only movie he will actually watch, which doesn't bother me in the least bit. He starts clapping and smiling when he hears the theme song.





Stats:

• Weight - 17 pounds 14 ounces (10th percentile)
• Length - 27  inches ( percentile)
• Head circumference- 
• Diaper size -  3
• Clothes size - Just started wearing 9 month clothes, the pants are too big, so he is mainly wearing size 6 month pants. 
• Favorites- Walking holding on to things, being outside, Veggie Tales, eating, and playing with Daddy
• Mommy's favorite moment/s this month- He now will grab one of his books, crawl over to me, and sit still while I read it. I'm SO thankful he is enjoying reading!