Total Truth Thursday| Marriage: Why I Hate Pinterest

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Welcome to our very first Total Truth Thursday! Kelsea and I are so excited to be starting this link-up and hope that it will be successful in creating a safe environment for us to share our opinions, beliefs, and thoughts- however strong, against-the-grain, mainstream, or out there they are! If this is the first time you’re hearing about Total Truth Thursdays, head back to this post and catch up on what it’s all about! 

Before we dive in and link up, there are a few things that you need to know: 

1 // You can find the list of topics for each week HERE.   
2 // Kindness is key.Whether you follow the topics for each week or come up with something on your own, please remember that others may or may not agree with you, and you may or may not agree with them! Disagreements are natural, passionate opinions are welcomed, and constructive feedback is fine. However, we won’t put up with rudeness, ugliness, or name-calling. Just be nice! 
3 // To link-up, please follow Hey Kelsea Rae & These Moments Called Life on Bloglovin’ or GFC and copy and paste the button code to your post somewhere! We are so excited to get started! 

Today’s topic is MARRIAGE!

Before we dive in, let me clarify on my title. I LOVE Pinterest. I have discovered so many awesome recipes, home decorating ideas, organizing tips, and fashion ideas. What I mean by my title is simply this, I believe Pinterest has women more focused on planning the perfect wedding rather than focusing on preparing our hearts for marriage. 

 Being that I got married just 2 months after high school, you can imagine our wedding budget was small. Our wedding wasn't lavish to say the least, we didn't have an expensive caterer, outstanding venue, or 4 foot tall floral arrangements. What our wedding lacked in "frills", was compensated with love. My wedding was perfect to me. And our parents weren't in debt after!

 Your wedding is at the top of the list of "most important days of your lives", but I have to say, I personally believe our divorce rates would drop if couples spent more time preparing their hearts and minds for marriage instead of investing it all on the wedding. 

 Your wedding day is only 24 hours. Your marriage's lifespan is much much more. The year or months leading up to your special day should be spent in deep thought and prayer. Marriage is a beautiful union of 2 becoming one. You can imagine that comes with some bumps and bruises along the way. I am so thankful Mr. J and I did marriage counseling which prompted many long talks and discussions. I'm glad we took time to pray together lots throughout our engagement about our life as a married couple. Don't you think marriages would be in much better condition if in the wedding budget, there was a slot for counseling, or marriage conference fees? 

 I am in no way telling you not to have the wedding of your dreams, all I am saying is invest some time preparing the foundation. A rushed, neglected foundation leads to instability. I remember vividly our marriage counseling, the truths we learned, what the Bible has to say about marriage, what my role as a wife is to look like. I think about those things often. I wish somewhere in Proverbs 31, there was a verse that said "And she shall be given chocolate as a reward for holding her tongue." Can I just get an amen there. Seriously, showing grace and forgiveness is super hard when you fall into the toilet in the middle of the night because someone, cough cough, left the seat up....again! 

 If you are a seasoned bride and never took the time to spiritually and emotionally prepare for marriage, it's NOT TOO LATE!! You have tons of resources available. Ask your Pastor if he would be willing to do a little marriage counseling with you, after all "Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." (IF you haven't already, go watch Fireproof) There are so many great books, even work books you can go through together. Talk to an older couple who have been together for 50+ years, you know they have some good advice. 

 Let's invest our hearts in the upkeep of our marriages, invest time in your spouse. Treat them like your hunk, not just the co-parent of your child. Remember y'all, our kids will get their idea of what marriage looks like by our example, are you showing them it's fun, so full of love, and only gets stronger, or are you showing them a naggy, miserable, "team" of people who just happen to be raising kids together? 

 Go give your guy a kiss, have fun, and enjoy each other. Marriage is a gift ladies, it isn't without hiccups but in the end, those hard times draw us closer to each other and closer to the Lord.


Alright, it’s your turn! Grab the button below and link up your Total Truth!
Total Truth Thursday

Snowpocalypse 2014

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Anyone who knows me knows that I love the snow. Maybe I got spoiled the year we lived in Illinois when I was 4. My definition of "snow" seems to be different from Virginia's definition. Virginia seems to define snow as more than 5 flurries falling at once. My definition is what I'm seeing outside my window right now, 15+ inches. 

"Snowpocalypse 2014" is what every winter should look like, if you were to ask me. I just adore all aspects of snow like the way it blankets a clean canvas on nature, the way the air smells, and the chill in the air. Perhaps my favorite thing about it is how something so quiet, soft, and gentle has the power to make everything and everyone just slow down.


While I can imagine it's not fun being stranded or unable to get to where you need to be, it's quite spectacular to see people outside playing with their kids when they normally wouldn't have the time due to work schedules. Or for a married couple to snuggle on the couch watching a movie when they normally have other commitments. You see, snow has a way of bringing people together. While Mr. J is a Police Officer and still has to go to work, I'm so looking forward to a weekend of being snowed in with my guys just relaxing, playing outside, and being together. Nothing fancy, simply just being together.

So while, I will admit, it can be quite the headache, let's all try to focus on the simple beauty of it and enjoy the togetherness it brings.


Also, make snowcream, drink hot chocolate, and make a snow angel or two.

What are your favorite things about the snow?



Guest Post: Tonya

Thursday, February 6, 2014

I am OVER THE MOON to introduce y'all to a woman who I truly admire. Her name is Tonya and she is the Mama behind 4 Little Fergusons. She has an awesome testimony and is such an encouragement. We have lots of similar views on several different topics and I have asked her to share her heart on one of those, limited tv.

Hello there Tonya, so nice to have you grace "These Moments...", let's start with a short introduction...

Hi there! I am Tonya from the 4 little Ferguson's blog here today to tell you how much I hate TV. Haha, not really, but I do want to tell you about my passion to limit tv in order to promote reading. I have been married almost 12 years to the love of my life, thanks to a Father in Heaven who can restore what the locusts have eaten.  

We were pregnant 8 times the first 8 years of our marriage, so you can imagine the words heard most often at our house are: Hello, Goodbye and I am PREGNANT!  

We have 4 children in Heaven and 4 on Earth, Destiny is 10, Tylan is 7 next Friday, Avery is 5 and Paxton is 3. They light up our lives and it is our goal to raise them in a home full of laughter, love and Big Picture Parenting.

You are pretty passionate about Limited tv, tell us why?

I AM passionate about this, because I hate tv. I hate how grumpy they are afterwards, and how apt they are to "be bored" or fight with each other.
It's also much more, to me the tv feels like a sewer tube leading right into the living room of my home, an access for Satan to come in to our safe place. We don't have cable, just an antenna on the roof, and we still battle the filth that is shown on commercials and tv shows.
For this reason, we limit the non school age children, to 1 hour of tv in the morning. This allows me to get a shower, or answer my emails, but that's it for the rest of the day. They can also use that time to play and educational computer game. In general, our basic rule is, it has to be educational or about Jesus. So even some of the stuff on PBS, the cartoon-y things, don't fit the bill.
School aged kids can use tv time on the weekend, this is when we allow the 2 hour length ones for a family movie night, rated G or PG only. Someday, when our dvd player goes out, it is our desire to buy a special one that filters the disc is plays! That way a movie we loved like "Night At The Museum" could be played, because it'd beep out the ONE bad word that ruined an otherwise darling movie.

My husband, Dale, helps me with this, by keeping the tv off until the kids go to bed during the school week, or at very least, turns the tv to a black screen for the commercials of the football game he wants to catch on the weekend.

Was it a hard adjustment going pretty much tv free, why or why not?
My mom limited Tv when I was a kid, so I grew up playing outside until dark, or going through the Tv Guide with my brother to find 2 cartoons we agreed on for Saturday morning fun.
Our kids don't know any different, we started this from day one. If your kids are used to tv, they MAY be cranky and bored that first week or two, it's ok, with any detox you feel worse before you get better! Be on your A game that week, be ready with fun ideas, a dining room table turned tent maybe. It WILL get better!

I nannied for 5 children before I became a momma of my own, and I watched their home DRAMATICALLY change when they unplugged the tv and rolled it in to the storage room. At first it was hard, the kids were cranky and bored, but within a week, the began to play and use their imagination to the max. The whole home changed, it was then I knew, I would limit tv in our home someday.
Plus, I am a total book worm, I want my kids to be passionate about reading, I want them to see the beauty of traveling to faraway lands and adventures via those pages. So, not only to we limit tv time, but we promote reading too.
1 hour required reading {looking at pictures} during naptime for my non napper, and an hour on Saturday and Sunday for school kids. Our home is very quiet with the exception of turning pages during that quiet time, I get to sit and read too, I love it!
We also read at night, family devotions or a Bible story, and if time allows, we love to read chapters from a kids novel like Runaway Ralph, Ramona, Little House on the Prairie, or Indian in the Cupboard.


With having 4 little ones and no tv, how do you keep them entertained? 


You know, its funny, I don't. I mean, don't get me wrong, some days I hear "I'm Bored", but its very rare! They have active, well used imaginations. They always seem to have some idea they want to play, like house or orphan children, or King and Queen.
   
We try to keep things like wooden stamps, play dough, huge butcher paper to cover the whole table, colors, paints and construction paper on hand in the toy closet, so when they don't have an idea of an imagination game to play, we can move to a craft type activity.When our children were babies, we would give them simple toys on a blanket to learn and grow without someone around. 

Around the age of 2, you can start teaching your children to play without you, by starting a game then walking away. "Let's play restaurant...I am hungry for chicken and potatoes please." I would play awhile then start her playing on her own, by setting up babies and teddy bears around the table. "Mommy has to go do laundry, I will check in later, for now you feed all these hungry babies and animals their supper." If they came out to whine at my feet, I would say, "OH! I hear your baby crying, she needs you to go feed and rock her." Continuing to teach them to play alone, helped me so much those busy days with a newborn baby at home, along with 2 pre-school aged children.


For someone like me who only has 1 child and no siblings to play with, what is your advice for keeping our tv-less days fun?


Invest is some Melissa and Doug toys, a wooden car town, dress up doll or lacing cards. I love everything they sell! Set up a play room that is kid friendly. We have a train table that we rotate "sets" on, from train to wooden car town, to race track to train town. We have a kitchen and small table, a crib and a place for a clothes line on "laundry day".

There is a bookshelf of books and a bean bag near by, along with cd player, cds and headsets for Adventures in Odyssey Cd's to listen to {Look into these discs, they are amazing and teach the child to imagine just by listening to the stories, not watching them!} We have a play closet full of organized baskets of toys and activities. Having these things in place will help your child succeed in playing alone.

In today's society, so many unacceptable things are on tv and in movies, even ones that are supposed to be for kids, what are your standards for picking safe movies with christian morals?

As I mentioned earlier, the general rule for tv during the week is educational or about Jesus.


This means PBS only on tv, Sesame Street is ok, although it used to be better. Daniel Tiger has recently gotten my approval after I realized he taught a lot in sing song. I don't like Arthur or Clifford, not because they are bad, but the learning element is so watery.
Some of our favorites:

Under The Rainbow: Old Testament and New Testament {there are a ton of videos, all very acurrate to scripture!!!!} 

Veggie Tales 
Chuck Swindol's Paws and Tales 
Faith Collection 
Auto-B-Good 
Boz the Bear 
The Mandie series 
Last Chance Detectives from Focus on the Family

We watched The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe with the kids since it came from a Christian author, and loved it, but its definitely for the Elementary age crowd. We discussed the battle of good and evil afterwards. We won't watch the second or third movie in that series until much later, due to its content.

We feel pretty safe with most of the animated movies that come out, like Cars, {we like 1 better than 2} Planes, Wreck It Ralph, Tangled. Classics like, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Mary Poppins, Cinderella, Bambie.

What was the most recent good, quality, morally sound movie you saw?

Last weekend we rented Cloudy With The Chance of Meatballs 2 because we loved the first one so much, it was equally cute and family friendly.

See, limiting tv doesn't mean missing out on the cute kids movies, it just means that when you do turn the tv on, they all hold still because its such a treat!

Have you seen kids play through tv time? That is because a) they are just too young to watch that long, and don't need tv time yet or b) they have grown up around the noise of tv so much, it's considered normal in their lives, not a special occasion.

And just for fun, every mom needs a little time to herself, what do you like to do for your "me" time?
My Word of the Year for 2014 is Balance. My calendar was too full, I worked from morning to night trying to get all my tasks done on the computer and in our household, and I was failing. This year, I committed my calendar to the Lord, "cut the fat", learned to say no to extra things and guess what? 

I have read 10 Christian novels since Christmas break. I am in HEAVEN! I have a chair by the fireplace, so I grab a chapter book, my water, the phone, and a blanket and let myself have at least 30 minutes of quiet. And let me tell you, I am a better mom and wife for it.

I find myself working extra hard during morning chore time to prep supper and transfer laundry, so I can take an hour to read during nap time

Eye Opening Statistics:

-It is estimated that more than $2 billion is spent each year on students who repeat a grade because they have reading problems.

-66% of Americans eat dinner while watching tv.

-44 million adults in the U.S. can’t read well enough to read a simple story to a child.

-Minutes per week parents spend in meaningful conversation with their kids: 3.5

-Over one million children drop out of school each year, costing the nation over $240 billion in lost earnings, forgone tax revenues, and expenditures for social services.

-Percentage of daycare that use tv during a typical day: 70%

-60 percent of America’s prison inmates are illiterate and 85% of all juvenile offenders have reading problems.

-Average hours in school, 900. Hours per year your average youth spends watching tv: 1500

-Out-of-school reading habits of students has shown that even 15 minutes a day of independent reading can expose students to more than a million words of text in a year.

-Number of murders your child sees on tv by the time they finish elementary school: 8,000

-In a class of 20 students, few if any teachers can find even 5 minutes of time in a day to devote to reading with each student, due to strict testing goals.

-Average violent acts your child sees on tv by the time they are 18: 200,000

-Percentage of 4-6 years olds, who when asked to choose between tv time and spending time with their father, prefered tv time: 54%

-Today, kids under 2 spend more than twice as much time watching videos, as they do being read to.

-In 2/3 of households, TVs are on during meals.

-In 75% of households, TVs are on when no one is watching them.

-More than 70% of kids have TVs in their bedrooms

-Only 1/3 of households have media-consumption rules








Suggestions from Tonya:

-Be an example, turn the tv off during the day. 

-I used to have a show I watched every feeding when I had one child, once she got old enough to turn to the tv, I knew it had to go. I shut it off 9 years ago, and haven't watched a morning/day time tv show since!

-Let your child see you reading.

-Spend time together reading, show it can be fun. Don't make it too complicated, at the table during lunch, 3 before nap, or 1 before bed can plant the seed of reading in them.

-Require reading during a resting time. Don’t push too hard, but stick to your guns too! Even 20 minutes a day will help for a lifetime.  

-We have worked our way up to 2 hours of quiet while brother naps. First hour is reading or looking at books, second hour is a quiet activity.

-Let your child read to you. Start out simple with easy-to-read books, and encourage your child to try new words.

-Set aside daily reading times. Like I mentioned, it works great for us between lunch and naps and again at bedtime. This is a good opportunity to start introducing them to daily Bible reading and quiet time with the Lord at the end of the day. We all pray as a family before tucking them in for the night.

-Tired of “baby books”? Even young children can grasp chapter books. My mom did this for me when I was 2 years old. She read me the Little House series And later on, as a 7-year-old, I have such fond memories of her sitting in the hallway between my room and my little brother’s, reading out loud from a chapter book. Oh, how we’d BEG her for just one more chapter!

Add a little dirt

Tuesday, February 4, 2014


I absolutely LOVE the cold weather. Fall is my favorite and winter is in a close second. My only complaint is if it's going to be as cold as it has been, those frigid temperatures better be accompanied by LOTS of pretty snow. 

While I don't mind the weather, it does make having an outdoor loving toddler a bit challenging. Little A has been sick over the past 2 weeks and he has been itching to get outside. Today, I finally decided to bundle him up and go play. He loved all 40 minutes of it. Charlie was in muddy heaven. 

I must confess that when we are outside, my inner germaphob is thinking "don't touch that" ,"ew bugs", and when he falls down, I immediately brush the dirt off. Today, I resisted. Know what? He survived, dirty knees with leaves stuck to his hands and all. Mind blowing right? I have to constantly remind myself to let him be a boy, get dirty, and be adventurous. 


It's pretty awesome to see him smiling after he climbs on the rock pile or finds a stick to give Charlie. His little adventurous spirit needs that freedom to roam and play. It would break my heart to think I stifle it. 

Best cure for going stir crazy? Take your child, put on layers, and add a little dirt.

Also this easy, healthy vegetable soup doesn't hurt either.

Recipe:

Ingredients:
1lb ground venison (browned and drained)
2 cans organic diced tomatoes 
1 can organic beans (I used tri-blend) drained and rinsed
1 can organic corn
1 can organic peas
1 can organic green beans
1 small chopped onion
2 cups water
2 cups organic broth (vegetable or beef)
1 tbsp garlic powder
salt and pepper to taste

dump all ingredients in crock pot, cook on low for 5-6 hours.