11 months !

Monday, October 14, 2013

So this is a little late, but such is life 

Little A is 11 months old and boy oh boy, he is doing SO much these days!

He started walking 2 days before he turned 11 months, not just a couple steps, but full on walking!

His vocabulary consists of  mama, dada, thank you (so cute, just started yesterday), dog (which sounds more like dawg-a), nose (nooooooeee), bird (bir-bir).

He is signing more, all done, and shaking his head no.

His favorite things to do are stand on the baseboard heaters (don't worry they aren't usable anymore) look out the window to find bir-bir and says "caawwww" like a crow. He loves to turn off the lights when we leave a room, play with his books, carry around my decorative pumpkins from Michaels. Now that Little A can walk, he has to constantly be doing it, he is ALWAYS on the go. He will give kisses if you ask him for one, unless he is grumpy, then he has no love. Understandable.

His favorite foods are bananas, any kind of bread (toasts, muffins, biscuits, corn bread), meat, especially chicken but he won't eat it fried (can he truly be called a baptist then?). His veggie likes seem to be shrinking but we are working on that. He loves greek yogurt and all fruit.

Little A went on his first pumpkin patch trip which he absolutely loved. Playing in the corn and carrying his baby pumpkin were his favorites, along with kettle corn.

First birthday plans are in the works. We have the invitations designed, plans made, tears waiting to be shed. No but seriously, I can't believe how fast this past year has gone by. We have loved every single minute and are so thankful to have our sweet boy. 

His big boy car seat 

Looking for birds

Pretty sure he could be a GAP baby model 


Thursday, October 10, 2013


Have y'all seen that video? If not, watch it. 

I watched it with tears rolling down my cheeks and goosebumps on my arms. 

I'm going to be so honest, expose my truth, be vulnerable with my words and feelings because God is telling me to.

I came from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was in 3rd grade. I have 1 happy memory of my parents interacting as a couple. One. It involved my dad chasing my mom through the house, they were both laughing, tickling, smiling, hugging. The other memories of them as a couple consisted of arguing, tears, yelling, hurt, and pain. 

Divorce hurts everyone involved. As a child, I blamed myself, thinking I caused the fights, that if I was a better child, my parents would get along. That if I was "enough", I could be the glue that held my family together. 

Those hurts you experience when you don't fully understand, they turn to scars, callouses, painful construed perceptions of marriage. 

I was raised in church, "got saved" when I was 5 (I say that with quotes because at that point in my life, I said a prayer that was led by my sunday school teacher, I don't think I fully understood or grasped salvation). As a young teenager, I struggled so immensely with this feeling of inadequency. I looked for something to make me feel whole. I tried to fill the void with boys, inappropriate relationships, music, movies, anything to make me feel something. Guess what? It left me feeling even emptier. I used to spend a ton of time in my room, alone, listening to music, writing in a journal. I had 6 journals that I filled throughout my teenage years. Those pages were home to words of pain, feeling alone, misunderstood, empty, and anger. 

I was a pro at putting on a happy face, acting like everything was ok, that I didn't need anyone or anything. In my mind, everyone would let you down, fail you, hurt you, then leave you. I would trust no one, not give anyone the chance to hurt me.

 I went to church, sat through service after service, like a stone. Not wanting to absorb anything, listen to a single word, or sing a single note of a praise song. Why? In my mind, God had abandoned me. He let my family fall apart, He ignored my prayers and pleas when I was just a small child, He had forgotten me, so I would return the favor. 

Want to know something awesome about God? He NEVER gives up. He keeps on keeping on. It wasn't until I went to a Christian Youth Conference in Tennessee that I truly 100% accepted the gift of salvation with full understanding of my sin and need for Jesus. Things got better, BUT I still struggled. 

I still had anger in my heart. I could not for the life of me grasp that in God's eyes, I was worth dying for. I knew He loved me, I just couldn't understand why He would love someone like me? Didn't he know how broken I was? I was damaged goods. 

It was about 2 years after I got saved that God broke my walls down. It was this life changing night that I will never forget. Alone in my room, getting ready for the next day, God spoke so clearly to me saying "Kirstin, you are Mine! I would die for you again and again. I love you more than you will ever understand. You are ENOUGH, you always have been. I have forgiven you, forgive yourself. You are made whole in Me." That night, I destroyed those journals, God had forgiven me for my selfishness, my anger. I no longer wanted Satan to have that hold on my heart. 

In my attempt to feel whole with things of the world, I gained wounds. Those wounds are healed, they are scars. They no longer hurt, but they are a reminder to me of the pain I brought upon myself, and the healing that Christ brought me through Himself. I still struggle sometime with regret, feeling stupid about choices I made. They are painful memories, but I decided that night several years ago to give my mess to Christ so he could turn it into a message.

Girls, LISTEN to this video, to me, to what God is telling you. NO BOY could ever make you whole, no amount of music, movies, friends, drugs, alcohol or whatever you struggle with will ever be enough to fill that void. A man named Jesus suffered a horrific gruesome death FOR YOU. He loves you that much. Think about that for a minute. 

A whole life, one filled with forgiveness, freedom from your sins,  joy, a best friend, and more love than you could ever fathom is waiting for you. All you have to do is accept it. Jesus is waiting to pick you up, dust you off, tell you He loves you, and hold your hand through every single minute of your life. The best part? Death isn't the end, it's the beginning. He loves you so much, He wants to spend ETERNITY with you in Heaven. 

Take it from me, a life without Jesus is empty, it has no purpose.There are no "damaged goods" in His eyes, no one is beyond His repair. He made your heart, of course He can fix it.

 Be made whole in Him, His love and forgiveness. You are MORE than enough.

A - Z about ME

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Apparently I never post anything "me related" so It was suggested that I do that in order for y'all to get to know me better, (I'm not super interesting, I promise) so I found this fun little guide .

here we go.....

A. Age :: 21

B. Bed size :: full (yup, we love to snuggle)

C. Chore you hate :: folding laundry (probably because I am so specific about every fold)

D. Dogs :: Charlie, who is currently living with a friend due to our land lord not wanting pets

E. Essential start to your day :: devotion time during Little A's nap

F. Favorite color :: cliche, but PINK. It makes me happy

G. Gold or silver :: silver

H. Height :: 5'5

I. Instruments you play :: NONE, depressing right? would love to learn piano

J. Job title :: Stay at home mama

K. Kids :: Little A <3

L. Live :: good ol' Virginia

M. Maiden name :: Love (best last name (now middle) in my opinion)

N. Nicknames :: Kir, Atta 'Chel (middle name is michelle, my grandpa added the 'Atta part), Porkchop (my dad has given all of his children, and grandchildren meat names, weird right?)

O. Overnight hospital stays :: only when Little A was born

P. Pet peeve :: dirty clothes laying RIGHT beside the dirty basket (come on, those extra 3 inches), letting the low fuel light come on, being late

Q. Quote: "Don't try to measure up to other people, your measurements have been taken on the cross" - Beth Moore

R. Righty or lefty :: Righty. 

S. Siblings :: Older sister Brittni, little sister Kayla, and little brother Jacob

T.Time you wake up :: usually 8 - 8:30, whenever Little Man wakes up

U. University attended :: Not a University, but just started a certification program through ACE to be a group fitness instructor

V. Vegetables you dislike :: Greens and beets

W. What makes you run late :: having a child, bad hair days, and that moment when you realize you hate every.single.thing in your closet (happens a lot)

X. X-rays you’ve had :: Teeth, and my shoulder.  

Y. Yummy food :: Steak, sushi, smoothies, COFFEE, and anything Italian

Z. Zoo animal favorite :: Elephants, been my favorite for years.