Perfection: One Less Thing to Worry About

I have a confession. 

I am, sad to say, a worrier.

I worry, a lot. I worry about things that most people think are irrelevant. Having a child only made me worry even more. I will add, most of the things I worry about are more logical now, like the well-being of my child, his health, safety, the cleanliness of his toys, things of that nature.

Another confession, I like to research things. Little A wakes up to eat every morning around 5:30ish when Mr. J is getting ready for work. After he leaves, most mornings, I stay awake researching / reading until Little A wakes up at 8:30. 

Most of the time, I am looking up activities to do with Little A, you know sensory activities, things that promote growth, learning, and all things good. But sometimes, the more I research, the more I worry. 

I always fear that somewhere down the road, when he is 5 or so, his doctor will ask me some question along the lines of "you mean you haven't been doing such and such with him every single day since he was born? *gasp* Well it's too late now." I fear that I will leave out certain activities or crucial lessons that should be no brainers and he will suffer. 

At the end of every day, I always ask myself, did I do my best today at being a wife, mother, and Christian? Basically everyday I think, well I did my best but I need to and could be better. 

I think God instilled it in us women to naturally want to pour every ounce of ourselves and effort into those we love. I iron Mr. J's police uniform every morning, pack his lunch, make his coffee, and whatever else he needs. I pray for him throughout the day and try to always be a joy to come home to. I try to turn every single activity of the day into a learning experience for Little A. Laundry becomes a lesson on colors, making lunch becomes a lesson on food and their nutrients, and playing with the dog turns into "what sound does this animal make?" I read scripture to him and pray throughout the day with him. While Little A naps, I do my devotion and spend time reading my bible and in prayer. But at the end of the day, I always feel like it's just not enough, that I need to do more, that God and my family deserve more. 

You know those tribal women who carry the baskets on their heads and fill it with fruit and all kinds of things? I always thought that was so awesome as a child. I would try to balance stuff on my head but I could only keep it steady for a few seconds before it came crashing off. Well as a Christian, I picture myself carrying a huge basket on my head trying to pile in all my worries, problems, sins, insufficiencies, and duties of the day. It's heavy, very heavy. All that weight on top of my head causes my neck to be tired, unable to look up. But then, something wonderful happens, Jesus walks up, and sweetly says, "Can I help you with that?"

That's the beauty of the Savior, He knows the weight we carry as mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, Christians, daughters, brothers, pastors, homemakers, and so on. I will never be perfect, I will and do make mistakes as a Christian, wife, and mother. That's ok. When I feel as though my efforts are failing, I am reminded that God doesn't require perfection. He wants participation and effort. And when I fail, God still loves me. He is there ready to encourage my heart to keep doing my best. 

So will I every lay down at night thinking "today I was a perfect wife, mother, and Christian" ? Doubtful. But I can lay down knowing that I gave it my all, and with God's help, it's enough.

Perfection: One less thing to worry about. 

Pick Your Poison

As a mom, and a new one at that, I have received TONS of advice, opinions, thoughts, and "don't do's".  I always appreciate advice, there is wisdom in the multitude of council, BUT some "advice" is more bossing and judgement based.

I rock my baby to sleep. Yup that's right, I spend anywhere from 5 minutes to, a couple times, 1 hour rocking my sweet little chunk cheeks to sleep. Go ahead, judge away. So many people told me, "whether you snuggle him to sleep, hold him, rock him, or any method other than self soothing from birth, you're picking your own poison" or "don't you even start the habit of rocking your baby, you will spoil him and have to do it for the rest of your life." Yes, Little A is used to me rocking him to sleep, and he depends on it. Do I regret starting it, there are a few nights when I wish I could lay him down and he could just slip into a sweet dream-filled sleep, but at the end of the day, my baby is only a baby for a short time. When he is 10 years old, will I look back and say,"Man it was so nice to lay him down while he put himself to sleep" most likely not. My baby is growing SO fast and I want to cherish every single second. I prayed and prayed and prayed for a baby in God's timing, (and who am I kidding, I wanted a baby RIGHT THEN!), I welcomed the thought of sleepless nights if it meant kisses sweet baby cheeks. I want to look back on Little A's infancy and know that I soaked up every single second, snuggle, and kiss that I could have. 

Whether it's putting your baby to sleep, your method of feeding, what clothes you put your baby in, whether you homeschool, do preschool, or let your kid eat bugs, at the end of the day YOU are the mother of YOUR child. God gave us mothers instinct specific for our own child. Every baby is different and every mother is different. 

I have friends who parent very differently than I do, is it my place to judge? Absolutely NOT. How different would your time with other mom's be if you stopped judging? Of course I understand there are some situations when some intervention is necessary due to the safety and well-being of a child, in that case, by all means, go ahead mama bear. If it's not a matter of life or death, let that mama be mama. 

Give advice when it's asked for, be a good friend, but let's take the judgement glasses off and just enjoy our babies while we can. 

Be sweet y'all! 

4 Months!

My little bug is 4 months old already! He had his check-up, along with 2 more shots a few days ago (does this part every get easier?)

He is changing so quickly!!! These days, when he goes to sleep, he has to pull his blanket up to his face, usually covering one cheek. He loves to talk, when he wakes up, I know he is awake because he starts "talking" and kicking his legs, he doesn't cry.

Little usually goes to bed around 9:30. He wakes up between 5-6 to eat while Mr. J is getting ready for work, gets some kisses from him, then goes back to sleep. He wakes up again around 9 to eat, and sometimes goes back to sleep for another hour. He always conks out for a nap at noon, sleeps for about an hour and a half to two hours, then takes an hour nap around 5.

He is still nursing every 2 hours, which is a little more difficult sometimes because he is too nosy, I mean curious to sit still long enough to eat.

Little A also had his first unscheduled doctor appointment. He had a fever. not really eating well, runny nose, and cough for 2 days. I called the doctor, she said to just give tylenol as directed to keep him comfortable. After 2 days I couldn't take it, I took him in. They said it was a virus that was going around and since it was viral, they couldn't do anything. It made me feel better to know it was nothing more serious and it wasn't an ear infection or anything else but I hated they couldn't do anything.

He still has a cough but we're putting baby vicks vapor rub on his feet at night and it's helping him not cough so much and clear out the congestion.

Little man was born with dark hair, now what hair he does have is light, looks like he will be a blonde baby, maybe it will turn dark again when he is older just like Daddy.

Look Mom, I got my toes!

After his appointment, those shots wear him out.

Look at those eyes!

Loves his johnny jumper

Working HARD to blow bubbles

His shirt says dreamboat, seriously though, I'm melting over this face

• Weight - 14 lbs. 15 oz. 50th percentile
• Length - 24 and 1/8  inches long. 50th percentile
• Head circumference- 16 1/4". 25th percentile.
• Diaper size - 2 
• Clothes size - 3 months, and some 3/6 month.
• Favorites- He is more vocal, lots of cooing and "talking". He discovered his toes, he always has to grab them. He is enjoying his play mat a lot more now. 
• Mommy's favorite moment/s this month- It's so hard to pick but I think it's that he learned to blow bubbles with his mouth, he does it all the time, absolutely precious.

Baby Gear

I remember when I was pregnant, tons of my mommy friends came to me and said "When you make your registry, don't forget to add this and this and this." and I heard, " I was told that I couldn't live without such and such items but I never used them, don't waste your time." So I'm going to make a short list of some of the items we have found essential.

1) Boppy- This wonderful pillow has been a life saver. It was a huge help at the hospital when I was getting used to nursing, and we still use it all the time for feedings and tummy time.

2) Nursing Cover- Obvious reasons right? BUT I will add, get one with the hoop at the neck, makes it easer for you to see your baby while still being covered up.

3)  Shout - Seriously, I love this stuff, never really used it before little A was born, but for those times when he has a blow out diaper while wearing a white onsie, which don't they always happen when they are wearing white?, I just squirt some of this stuff on there and let it sit for a little bit before washing, and VIAOLA, white and crisp all over again. 

4) Arm & Hammer diaper pail- I was kinda skeptical about a diaper pail honestly. I've heard moms talk about the oh so magical Diaper Genie, but I read not so great reviews about it. Hubby decided we just HAD to have a diaper pail on our registry, and after reading reviews, we went with the Arm & Hammer. Hubby was right, I love this thing. Who wants their nursery to smell like poo? Not this girl. This baby takes out any fowl scent from dirty diapers and holds a ton of diapers.

5) Jogging Stroller- Our stroller is the BOMB! It was amazing while doing Christmas shopping in a super crowded mall and having to do hairpin turns. Seriously this baby is smooth and drives just as well  as a Lexus (I'm guessing, never driven a Lexus before?) Being that Little A was a winter baby, the weather hasn't given us too many opportunities to actually go jogging yet, but the 5 or so times we have, I was impressed! Worth every single red cent!

(This is the travel system we bought, but we got the green one)

Well that's all for now, love on those babies and have a great weekend!