Total Truth Thursday | Free Vent: My Baby Isn't Spoiled

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Welcome to our fourth Total Truth Thursday! Kelsea and I started this link-up in hopes that it will be successful in creating a safe environment for us to share our opinions, beliefs, and thoughts- however strong, against-the-grain, mainstream, or out there they are! If this is the first time you’re hearing about Total Truth Thursdays, head back to this post and catch up on what it’s all about!

Before we dive in and link up, there are a few things that you need to know: 

1 // You can find the list of topics for each week HERE.    
2 // Kindness is key.Whether you follow the topics for each week or come up with something on your own, please remember that others may or may not agree with you, and you may or may not agree with them! Disagreements are natural, passionate opinions are welcomed, and constructive feedback is fine. However, we won’t put up with rudeness, ugliness, or name-calling. Just be nice! 
3 // To link-up, please follow Hey Kelsea Rae & These Moments Called Life on Bloglovin’ or GFC and copy and paste the button code to your post somewhere! We are so excited to get started!

Today’s topic is FREE VENT

Everyone knows the situation. You are in the grocery store, and someone walks beside you, says "Oh what a cute baby you have", then tries to talk to your baby. Insert baby talk and que the crying and shying away of said baby. Following this comes the comment "oh someone is sure spoiled on mama."

Let's address this shall we. This has happened to me numerous times. It may be a stranger or a friend I haven't seen in years.  

Sometimes, he smiles back and will wave. Sometimes, he turns his face and cries. If the latter happens, HE IS NOT SPOILED ON HIS MOTHER, this is a natural reaction to a STRANGER folks.

I cannot stand people saying it is because he is spoiled, spoiled has nothing to do with it. As adults, we can be friendly and polite to people we don't know. It's common courtesy. To a toddler, talking and communicating is a pretty "intimate" thing, it's still new to them. They have no idea what common courtesy is. If they feel comfortable, they will smile and talk back, if they don't , they won't. Pretty simple huh?

I understand it is so cute and sweet when your toddler is friendly to anyone and everyone, Little A has days like this where he will just chat up the cashier at Kroger. But the fact of the matter is he is his OWN person, he has his own feelings, his own level of comfort, and he has a choice to communicate or not. I can encourage him to say hi back, and most of the time I do, to let him know "mommy said it's ok for me to talk to this person". 

I will make absolutely NO apologies for him shying away or even crying. If that's how he feels, that is fine. When he is older, we will teach him how to be polite and say hello, but I wouldn't ask my child to do something he is uncomfortable with. That's just not fair. 

I think far too often, adults can forget that babies aren't just robots waiting to be programmed to exactly how we want them. Of course it is our duty to "train a child up in the way he should go" (Provers 22:6), teach them manners, and what is safe and what is not. It's a responsibility not to be taken lightly. What we forget is, they are a person too. WIth feelings, opinions, likes and dislikes. You respect your husbands opinion on things, why not your child's too? Obviously there are times Little A doesn't want to eat his vegetables and asks for cookies, in those times, I have acknowledged his opinion, but in his best interest, dismissed it. 

See what I'm getting at? We don't always have to do what our kids want, but we better at least acknowledge it and respect the fact that they have an opinion. If we don't, we are teaching them to be selfish and careless.

So if you meet me in public and my child cries, don't take it personal. He needs a little time to warm up to new people. Just smile, let him know you are friendly, and walk away happy that he is capable of having his own thoughts. 

P.S.- Aren't these Kroger buggies awesome?

Ever had this happen to you and received the same reaction? What are your thoughts on this topic?

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Total Truth Thursday


  1. People just say stuff to fill voids. It's human nature to "need" to say something. Or at least the humans I've met!

  2. Most people don't take into account that not every child growing up in 2024 is automatically a spoiled brat. Whoever says these things to you just based on him shying away is a complete idiot and doesn't know one thing about simple human development. Children are often misunderstood and aren't respected in the simple fact that they are not empty headed objects but real people with individual feelings!